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Brie Stevens-Hoare KC and Lyndsey de Mestre KC take a look at the difficulties women encounter during the menopause, and offer some practical tips for individuals and chambers to make things easier
There is a lot happening in midlife. Navigating the combination of a pivotal stage in a career at the Bar and the menopause is challenging.
It came as no surprise at the Chancery Bar Association’s drop-in menopause café to meet many women currently experiencing menopause who have been battling through, cultivating an endurance mindset and putting on a silent, brave face daily while experiencing menopausal symptoms and adjusting to significant changes across many strands of their lives. The preliminary findings from a survey published by the House of Commons Women and Equalities Committee (part of its Menopause and the Workplace Inquiry) also evidenced this, revealing that most women tell no one at work that they are menopausal, despite the vast majority of those responding reporting that menopausal symptoms impact how they feel at work.
This reveals a striking anomaly in current attitudes towards menopause. Taboos have been smashed spectacularly in recent years. A revolutionary openness about the symptoms of menopause started in the media. This ‘mainstreaming’ has been driven by women using their profiles to push for a level playing field by dispelling ignorance about a normal stage of life that was previously completely off-limits. But the evidence suggests that when it comes to individuals discussing their own, specific menopausal challenges at work it is a different story. Discussion with those who may have the power to offer assistance and conversely might hinder where they lack understanding (for example practice managers, leaders, juniors) is lacking. Those barriers – both self-imposed and societal – remain. They act as brakes on women accessing bespoke, potentially transformational help responsive to their individual circumstances, despite the ever-louder discussion of the topic at a high level.
In considering why these barriers exist it is important to recognise the cultural discomfort around discussion of the symptoms of menopause. There are also those who consider discussion unnecessary. There are others who find it difficult to face up to the fact that a large number of women are affected to a debilitating degree. It feeds a fear that focusing on the severe problems some women suffer will reinforce a false narrative that older women cannot cope and younger women had better brace themselves for something inevitably awful coming their way. Many worry that acknowledging the impact of menopause for some simply increases endemic ageism and sexism, providing yet more reasons to question older women’s performance.
Although the menopause is a natural stage in every woman’s life, the range and severity of experiences and symptoms is unique to each woman. Some women experience no detrimental symptoms and ‘sail through’. Others can be floored by the onset of unfamiliar physical and psychological symptoms like anxiety, brain fog, memory loss, hot flushes, vaginal discomfort and dryness, lack of sleep. Such symptoms can fundamentally affect valuable commodities in a career at the Bar: confidence and lack of self-consciousness. Some suffer in silence to such a degree they conclude they must leave their careers. There are many degrees of experience in between.
This spectrum of experiences illustrates that an essential part of properly responding to the needs of those affected by menopause is recognising that it affects everyone differently. This lies at the heart of addressing the real-life reluctance to undertake private discussions of one’s own menopause with colleagues who could really help.
The sheer numbers of women severely affected demonstrates that to stop the discussion or water it down is not an answer. Rather the first step is to dispel ignorance by intelligent education which both normalises the reality and enables a proper, practical focus on individual experiences.
In a chambers setting the most obvious first ‘practical tip’ for achieving these aims is quality, expert training which can deliver accurate information and offer solutions in a nuanced way. Chambers should also be careful to ensure that, once education has been delivered, discussions between individuals proceed without assumptions and generalisations.
The introduction of a menopause policy in chambers is another beneficial practical step. It not only clearly signposts internal routes for seeking support or becoming better educated, but also sends out a powerful message of inclusivity, respect and the importance of female talent. Some aspects of menopause support (e.g. reasonable adjustments, flexible working, respect and tolerance) can come under the umbrella of other policies. But expressly supporting your talented women and ensuring they are in a position to give their best to clients at all stages of their career should be a priority. Such a policy specifically tailored to respectful recognition of menopause as a distinct, natural and temporary phase of life, during which women particularly benefit from the ability to communicate changing needs openly, without judgment, aligns most strongly with those values. It shows an explicit commitment to women and signals to members and staff that chambers is open to constructive conversations about needs.
Another practical tip for supporting colleagues going through menopause is to approach conversations with empathy which allows the colleague to lead the discussion. Most people would prefer a concerned and genuine enquiry about how they are instead of silence but it is important to respect those who are private and do not wish to talk. Assumptions should not be made about someone’s health condition nor should direct questions about their menopause symptoms be posed. If you have concerns about someone’s wellbeing, ask general, open questions such as, ‘How are you doing?’ or ‘I wondered if you’re okay?’ It is up to the individual whether to disclose symptoms or health issues they may be experiencing.
Simple environmental or work-practice adjustments can be helpful too. Those needed may be physical (e.g. providing a fan, adjusting air conditioning, ensuring easy access to washroom and toilet facilities and sanitary products. Experiencing hot flushes in wigs is no joke and should be addressed sensitively by judges, who are increasingly conscious, open and constructive in respect of issues connected with menopause). For those experiencing cognitive symptoms, encouraging flexible working arrangements, scheduling one-to-one check-ins, or regular reminders and help maintaining task lists can be invaluable. Introducing mentoring relationships in chambers, the identification of a supportive colleague to talk to away from the office such as a wellbeing champion, or even creating an opt-in Menopause WhatsApp, can be hugely appreciated. The key message should always be ‘you do not have to do it alone’.
‘Menopause’ is used in this article as a shorthand to cover three distinct phases (peri-menopause, menopause and post-menopause). The main symptomatic phase is peri-menopause, the period leading up to the cessation of menstruation. This article focuses predominantly on women. The impact of menopause for trans, non-binary and gender non-conforming people has added complexity. The menopause can be experienced at that stage of their lives by trans masculine and non-binary identified people whose female characteristics persist, and transwomen may also experience symptoms. Similar support and flexibility in the workplace and an appreciation that additional complexity may arise is needed.
Brie Stevens-Hoare KC is a barrister, mediator and First-tier Tribunal judge at Gatehouse Chambers specialising in property and private client litigation. She is also a Commissioner for the Judicial Appointments Commission and Lincoln’s Inn’s Co-Convenor for the Inns of Court Alliance for Women.
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Lyndsey de Mestre KCis a barrister, mediator and arbitrator at XXIV Old Buildings specialising in
company and insolvency law. She is Chair of the Bar’s Inns Conduct Committee
and chairs disciplinary tribunals for the Bar, the police and clergy.
There is a lot happening in midlife. Navigating the combination of a pivotal stage in a career at the Bar and the menopause is challenging.
It came as no surprise at the Chancery Bar Association’s drop-in menopause café to meet many women currently experiencing menopause who have been battling through, cultivating an endurance mindset and putting on a silent, brave face daily while experiencing menopausal symptoms and adjusting to significant changes across many strands of their lives. The preliminary findings from a survey published by the House of Commons Women and Equalities Committee (part of its Menopause and the Workplace Inquiry) also evidenced this, revealing that most women tell no one at work that they are menopausal, despite the vast majority of those responding reporting that menopausal symptoms impact how they feel at work.
This reveals a striking anomaly in current attitudes towards menopause. Taboos have been smashed spectacularly in recent years. A revolutionary openness about the symptoms of menopause started in the media. This ‘mainstreaming’ has been driven by women using their profiles to push for a level playing field by dispelling ignorance about a normal stage of life that was previously completely off-limits. But the evidence suggests that when it comes to individuals discussing their own, specific menopausal challenges at work it is a different story. Discussion with those who may have the power to offer assistance and conversely might hinder where they lack understanding (for example practice managers, leaders, juniors) is lacking. Those barriers – both self-imposed and societal – remain. They act as brakes on women accessing bespoke, potentially transformational help responsive to their individual circumstances, despite the ever-louder discussion of the topic at a high level.
In considering why these barriers exist it is important to recognise the cultural discomfort around discussion of the symptoms of menopause. There are also those who consider discussion unnecessary. There are others who find it difficult to face up to the fact that a large number of women are affected to a debilitating degree. It feeds a fear that focusing on the severe problems some women suffer will reinforce a false narrative that older women cannot cope and younger women had better brace themselves for something inevitably awful coming their way. Many worry that acknowledging the impact of menopause for some simply increases endemic ageism and sexism, providing yet more reasons to question older women’s performance.
Although the menopause is a natural stage in every woman’s life, the range and severity of experiences and symptoms is unique to each woman. Some women experience no detrimental symptoms and ‘sail through’. Others can be floored by the onset of unfamiliar physical and psychological symptoms like anxiety, brain fog, memory loss, hot flushes, vaginal discomfort and dryness, lack of sleep. Such symptoms can fundamentally affect valuable commodities in a career at the Bar: confidence and lack of self-consciousness. Some suffer in silence to such a degree they conclude they must leave their careers. There are many degrees of experience in between.
This spectrum of experiences illustrates that an essential part of properly responding to the needs of those affected by menopause is recognising that it affects everyone differently. This lies at the heart of addressing the real-life reluctance to undertake private discussions of one’s own menopause with colleagues who could really help.
The sheer numbers of women severely affected demonstrates that to stop the discussion or water it down is not an answer. Rather the first step is to dispel ignorance by intelligent education which both normalises the reality and enables a proper, practical focus on individual experiences.
In a chambers setting the most obvious first ‘practical tip’ for achieving these aims is quality, expert training which can deliver accurate information and offer solutions in a nuanced way. Chambers should also be careful to ensure that, once education has been delivered, discussions between individuals proceed without assumptions and generalisations.
The introduction of a menopause policy in chambers is another beneficial practical step. It not only clearly signposts internal routes for seeking support or becoming better educated, but also sends out a powerful message of inclusivity, respect and the importance of female talent. Some aspects of menopause support (e.g. reasonable adjustments, flexible working, respect and tolerance) can come under the umbrella of other policies. But expressly supporting your talented women and ensuring they are in a position to give their best to clients at all stages of their career should be a priority. Such a policy specifically tailored to respectful recognition of menopause as a distinct, natural and temporary phase of life, during which women particularly benefit from the ability to communicate changing needs openly, without judgment, aligns most strongly with those values. It shows an explicit commitment to women and signals to members and staff that chambers is open to constructive conversations about needs.
Another practical tip for supporting colleagues going through menopause is to approach conversations with empathy which allows the colleague to lead the discussion. Most people would prefer a concerned and genuine enquiry about how they are instead of silence but it is important to respect those who are private and do not wish to talk. Assumptions should not be made about someone’s health condition nor should direct questions about their menopause symptoms be posed. If you have concerns about someone’s wellbeing, ask general, open questions such as, ‘How are you doing?’ or ‘I wondered if you’re okay?’ It is up to the individual whether to disclose symptoms or health issues they may be experiencing.
Simple environmental or work-practice adjustments can be helpful too. Those needed may be physical (e.g. providing a fan, adjusting air conditioning, ensuring easy access to washroom and toilet facilities and sanitary products. Experiencing hot flushes in wigs is no joke and should be addressed sensitively by judges, who are increasingly conscious, open and constructive in respect of issues connected with menopause). For those experiencing cognitive symptoms, encouraging flexible working arrangements, scheduling one-to-one check-ins, or regular reminders and help maintaining task lists can be invaluable. Introducing mentoring relationships in chambers, the identification of a supportive colleague to talk to away from the office such as a wellbeing champion, or even creating an opt-in Menopause WhatsApp, can be hugely appreciated. The key message should always be ‘you do not have to do it alone’.
‘Menopause’ is used in this article as a shorthand to cover three distinct phases (peri-menopause, menopause and post-menopause). The main symptomatic phase is peri-menopause, the period leading up to the cessation of menstruation. This article focuses predominantly on women. The impact of menopause for trans, non-binary and gender non-conforming people has added complexity. The menopause can be experienced at that stage of their lives by trans masculine and non-binary identified people whose female characteristics persist, and transwomen may also experience symptoms. Similar support and flexibility in the workplace and an appreciation that additional complexity may arise is needed.
Brie Stevens-Hoare KC and Lyndsey de Mestre KC take a look at the difficulties women encounter during the menopause, and offer some practical tips for individuals and chambers to make things easier
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