William Byfield's Secret E-Diary

21 December 2009: “Humor is reason gone mad” — Groucho Marx. 

I  have always tried to keep this diary cheerful. Who knows, my hard drive may be discovered in a time capsule 100 years hence. Given the problems caused by global warming, it may only be possible to read on rationed electricity when the flooding in one’s house has receded sufficiently. 

All Souls’ Day, 2009: “For a dream cometh through the multitude of business ...” (Ecclesiastes 5:3) 

The day began with that dream. I was arriving at the Bailey. The fact it was a bronze gothic castle did not strike me as incongruous. Despite efforts to get to my courtroom via the lift, the machinery kept depositing me in some bizarre attic. Eventually, I had to crawl through what the Star Trek series called a “Jefferies Tube” (aficionados – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jefferies_tube) until I entered my courtroom through the roof. Then I noticed that I was dressed in my ceremonial Silks’ costume with crucial bits, such as my breeches, half my tights and one buckled shoe, missing. 

16 October 2009: “One of the signs of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” — Bertrand Russell 

I have become very concerned about swine flu or Influenza H1NI, to use its proper name. First, I dislike the name: it sounds rather “dirty”. I prefer geographical names, such as Spanish Flu, which have a dash of romance to them. Guadalajara Flu would sound much better in my view. However, this is not my real concern. It is the way in which anyone who succumbs to the illness, or indeed nearly any other politically inconvenient medical emergency, is said to be suffering from “underlying health problems”. 

16 September 2009: “There are more things in heaven and earth, Henrietta, than are dreamt of in your philosophy”—Hamlet, Act I (adapted). 

What is it about the Bar? You only have to see someone, or even think about them, to find you are involved together in a case. No sooner had Henrietta Briar-Pitt launched her misguided exocet and Alexander Twist trimmed and tacked, at our chambers’ meeting, than I found we were all conjoined in litigation. It might not be a form of telepathic magnetism yet to be discovered by Stephen Hawkins nor proof that there is a creator, but it surely exists. 

14 August 2009: Do what we can, summer will have its flies — Emerson 

16 July 2009: “When sorrows come, they come not single spies But in battalions” – Hamlet. 

22 June 2009: HERE WE GO GATHERING NUTS IN MAY (AND JUNE)! 

29 May 2009: old questions, new answers and a face-to-face meeting 

All change?